my first attempt at rendering

 

poisoned apple with a red wine glass

 

orange

 

blonde

 

another ending

i am faced again with another ending
i look deep in myself
i remember the tears
the pain
a past tainted with shackled love

i look up
i see the sky turn into grey
i become dust
a million part of me swept into the moonlight
i make a silent wish

i unclasped my worries
i bid farewell
i kissed the your forehead
i wept my last tear

this maybe the end
my time with you is over
everything is not lost

you think i forget
but i will always remeber

before i bleached my hair

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cool hair

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pogi ko

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solarized

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ngee nakatsinelas pala ako

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yellow hair fixing her tie

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yellow hair in the tunnel of ....

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yellow hair featuring dahon

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yellow hair

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bago gising

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My road to damnation

I walk on the tired earth
Everyone cannot hold still
Lives flicker before me
Polluted air fills my lungs
My feet are tired
Strangers are my constant companion
The trail tracks is my home
Rain does not replenish the land

Purgatory set in hell

don't i look cute or not?

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Difficult Lessons

i can not sleep.

i am tired, my back is aching, i have a briused jaw and also a knee. i got lots of things to do and i do not know where to start.

if i had time these things i would probably do...

i want to clear Toto's name. People of the world! i want all of you to know that whatever lies being spread around not one is even half true. I want to say to Mrs. B. that Toto did not take advantage of me or my family what so ever. People only heard demented versions of the truth.

i want to tell my best friend no matter happens i will be here. i have never judged you nor the girl you love. I will always be your friend no matter what. i ask apology whatever wrong i have done.

i want to hang out with Rolyn and this time ill be the one who will make her laugh.

i want to have time with my high school barkada honey and chella. Even though sometimes we think differently but we never argue. we just laugh at our problems.

i want to spend more time with my sister. So many malls to shop so little time.

i want to hang out with Karl and get to know Renyboy even better. Just when Renyboy started to open up i have to go away.

i want to have lots of bonding time with Rose, Nikki, Bubbles and even Kate. i will definitely miss you guys.

i want to bully Mark some more....bitin pa kasi ako.

i want to make Tom's life hell. Joke.

i want to say goodbye to my students especially the little ones.

i want to join the guerilla filmaking three.

i want to help Kenth in his projects.

i want to tag along with Rachel and help her out with her various projects.

i want to tell anyone who hates me i am not a slut just a tease. hehehe

i want to go to sleep...

and have world peace?

hehehe

Freak

you know i have a reputation with the girls...

i can not understand why?

Am I that gwapo?

hehehe

ok ok ok

i know i look like a cute guy at times but please im still a little girl at heart.

maybe a girl who tends to skip around

blow bubbles

tries to sing a tune

and sometimes unknowingly tramples a couple of wild flowers along the way.

"Sorry itsybitsy flower"

sometimes i want to say

but most of the time i dont even see that i have stepped on one.

What the hell am i saying?

hehehe

just me and my nonsense ranting.

besides no reads my blog...

i used to wish that someone would somtimes check my blog
as they say be careful of what you wish for.

a girl once called me a black window spider

im more of a praying mantis!

hahahaha

ill eat my mate alive literally
so if you are still alive
then you have not yet met who i really am...

do praying mantis eat wild flowers for breakfast?

Yes

i am a freak

So this is how it all ends. We are all strangers in a dark cinema.

I only got a week to go until I am exiled somewhere…

I want to finish everything in one week

….the grades
….the clearance
….packing
…saying goodbye

Sad to say I could not do everything in one week
When I could not…I mean I could never say goodbye to my friends…or what’s let of them.

When I came back to Davao I thought I was finally home.
I realized that this is no longer my home.
Nothing feels right anymore.
I am plainly just an alien.
(Somebody arrest me!)

I though I finally found friends people who warmly accepted me as who I am.
Well I did found true friends and I am very thankful for them.
But sadly my life is not a fairytale…well even fairytales have witches in them.

My life suddenly became what could be a very
VERY interesting art film.

I wanted to fix things but that would only tangle the web of complicated interrelationships.

Some would see this as running away

But I really did not have a choice when I am now being shipped back to Manila.

I used to wish to be back there.

Funny.

Now I have to be dragged there kicking and screaming.