One a.m.
The wind outside is cold. Everyone is almost asleep. I could not stop checking my watch. My mind is drifting away from reality. In a few moments I know I will succumb to my secret life. I know I am now alone. Everyone has already stepped into their dream reality. Now I am waiting for someone.
There is still uncertainty if he will arrive. I could not care less. I could take my own private journey into the dark polluted waters of my tormented mind. I am accustomed to drowning in my own poisoned thoughts.
He is like a drug. He offers a superficial high. I am a dark creature who needs to be set free, roam the dark and lurk in the shadows. He could be a key to a night of utter madness and spontaneity.
The dull yellow green light was like a glow of a gem in my dark room. I knew it was him and it was time to go. I gather my camera, my keys and my rubber shoes. My heart was pounding. Carefully I went through the glass doors, the discarded gallery and into the garden. I could get caught at any moment but I really did not care. A few steps away would be temporary freedom.
I was finally standing outside the gate. The coldness welcomed me. I shy away from the yellow light of the post and hid behind the shadows. I could hear him coming.
This was not my first time to leave the house. Last time I went with a complete stranger. This time would be different. He is not really a stranger. I knew him from my past but I also know a little about who he has become...
I went inside his vehicle and we drove of.
Time did not exist. There was really no direction. Anything could happen. I stopped thinking and I just talked. Now I could not remember what we talked about. Everything happened fast but now when I think about it I am like watching a slow motion picture.
I do know how I all started. I remembered he held my hand. I was confused, if he was really after the sex he would have jumped on me and ripped my clothes. I did not know how to respond. Was it show of affection or is it his way of foreplay?
Everyday my passion has been burning my soul alive. Now I am afraid that I might burn his fragile body into ashes. I wanted to consume his flesh and drip his blood. His innocent kisses and timid caress prevented me from corrupting his soul. I was clumsy and laughed. I also knew that he did not know what to do. I just let him explore where he dared to go. I talked and tried to ignore his desire. Honestly I yearned for more.
I was actually trespassing. We were at his place. We were not alone.
Somehow the reality of time and knowledge that we could get caught prevented the ulterior motive of that night. We left and acted as if nothing happened. In my mind I was still in dark place uncovered and ripping him apart with my passion. I also knew that in his mind he was also in that dark damp place.
We are not lovers. We are not really close friends. He is my friend (I hope). I do not desire him. I also know I am not really his type. Is it that my lust is eating my sanity? Or maybe we are just two lonely people…
When I was back in my room I could sleep. I tried to digest what just happened. It really did not make sense but that is also what made it perfect.
My life is filled with moments with strangers.
I am more at home with them.
He will go back to his reality.
I do not know if it was just one night…
We will just see if one day I would claim his innocence…
I am a succubus waiting for another prey.
There is still uncertainty if he will arrive. I could not care less. I could take my own private journey into the dark polluted waters of my tormented mind. I am accustomed to drowning in my own poisoned thoughts.
He is like a drug. He offers a superficial high. I am a dark creature who needs to be set free, roam the dark and lurk in the shadows. He could be a key to a night of utter madness and spontaneity.
The dull yellow green light was like a glow of a gem in my dark room. I knew it was him and it was time to go. I gather my camera, my keys and my rubber shoes. My heart was pounding. Carefully I went through the glass doors, the discarded gallery and into the garden. I could get caught at any moment but I really did not care. A few steps away would be temporary freedom.
I was finally standing outside the gate. The coldness welcomed me. I shy away from the yellow light of the post and hid behind the shadows. I could hear him coming.
This was not my first time to leave the house. Last time I went with a complete stranger. This time would be different. He is not really a stranger. I knew him from my past but I also know a little about who he has become...
I went inside his vehicle and we drove of.
Time did not exist. There was really no direction. Anything could happen. I stopped thinking and I just talked. Now I could not remember what we talked about. Everything happened fast but now when I think about it I am like watching a slow motion picture.
I do know how I all started. I remembered he held my hand. I was confused, if he was really after the sex he would have jumped on me and ripped my clothes. I did not know how to respond. Was it show of affection or is it his way of foreplay?
Everyday my passion has been burning my soul alive. Now I am afraid that I might burn his fragile body into ashes. I wanted to consume his flesh and drip his blood. His innocent kisses and timid caress prevented me from corrupting his soul. I was clumsy and laughed. I also knew that he did not know what to do. I just let him explore where he dared to go. I talked and tried to ignore his desire. Honestly I yearned for more.
I was actually trespassing. We were at his place. We were not alone.
Somehow the reality of time and knowledge that we could get caught prevented the ulterior motive of that night. We left and acted as if nothing happened. In my mind I was still in dark place uncovered and ripping him apart with my passion. I also knew that in his mind he was also in that dark damp place.
We are not lovers. We are not really close friends. He is my friend (I hope). I do not desire him. I also know I am not really his type. Is it that my lust is eating my sanity? Or maybe we are just two lonely people…
When I was back in my room I could sleep. I tried to digest what just happened. It really did not make sense but that is also what made it perfect.
My life is filled with moments with strangers.
I am more at home with them.
He will go back to his reality.
I do not know if it was just one night…
We will just see if one day I would claim his innocence…
I am a succubus waiting for another prey.
posted by miles0282 at 10:30 PM
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