dday

I think I am going insane. All I want to do is either evaporate in thin air or mourn my pitiful existence. I do not feel that I am human any longer. I feel like pathetic scum of the earth. I am a sorry excuse for a human being. I hope God would take my life and recycle my life force into more useful living things.

I do not want to pretend any longer. I realized that my happiness is just a candy coating of my rotting demented soul. Maybe I prefer hell; maybe I m a better off being a dark creature that roam in the depths of earth rather than a human being with constricted and contrived freewill.

I will be honest I will no longer hide things I will say it all out

I am tired of answering questions why my parents treat me like this…even I myself do not know why they treat me like a little girl. I am tired of pretending that I am doing ok when I know I am a complete failure. I admit I envy everyone. I envy my friends they have jobs they lives they can do what they want and they act their age. I envy anyone who have specific special someone. I envy people who are not afraid to live their lives.

I want to run away.

I want to go to sleep and never wake up.

I want to lose consciousness.

I want to be transported to another dimension.

I want to lose myself.

I want to cease to exist.

Life is short and I have wasted mine…

Everyday my mind is wasting away Little by little I lost hope Everywhere I look all I could see the superficial happiness Somehow I have lost my inspiration I am just waiting for my death.

That would be a very good present to me.